Revenge can be so sweet. I was having a great time going out with friends, leaving Daniel at home with the kids for a change. I loved reversing our roles. It was something new for me. Freedom. Fun. Little responsibility.

I wasn’t doing anything wrong or breaking any rules. No wonder my husband had so much fun partying his life away, pretending to have no responsibilities at home. It’s fun!

He was beginning to get frustrated with me though. At first he pretended it was all okay and he acted like he supported my new social life. But the time I didn’t come home until 6 am, he was not very happy and he let me know.

Somehow it was okay for him to do, come home at 7 am even, drunk and one time, shoe-less. But it looked different on me. I wasn’t allowed.

In the last 2 years of our marriage we started seeing a marriage counsellor. It was interesting to see her view on things and to observe the way each other viewed things. But it didn’t really help our marriage. I think we were too far gone.

I tried going on birth control pills as he insisted I was especially moody and grouchy towards him when I had pms. So in order to regulate my cycle and possibly smooth my monthly moods out, I did try birth control. It didn’t help.

He made it known that if I was so unhappy in our marriage, it would be me that needed to pack up and leave. He wasn’t going to do the leaving. He would be keeping the house. And I dare not fight him for more than my share of custody of the kids, and that was to be 50/50. I promised I wouldn’t do that.

Naively I believed that the days the kids were with him, he would behave and be a good dad and everyone would be fine. He would save the getting drunk for the days the kids were with me. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

We had one last fight about alcohol and I made my decision to leave. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Done. Finito.

I had already been sniffing out places to live. Searching for apartments or houses to rent, even before I made my decision to leave.

I found a place to rent. I made myself a budget to ensure I could afford it. Put a damage deposit down, in secret, he was completely unaware.

I stopped sleeping in our bed, started sleeping with my daughter every night. He was angry. I remember laying there trying to fall asleep and seeing him staring through the crack in the slightly open door on his way to his room, our room.

I think he knew the end was coming…