I met my now ex-husband, Daniel, the way many people meet their spouses, when I was in college, on a night out having some fun with a girlfriend. He wasn’t actually someone that I was initially attracted to and when I approached him it was to set him up with my friend, not me. But they didn’t seem to hit it off. So we did.

Having experienced a two year semi-abusive relationship with a much older man, I was sure I knew what I didn’t want in the next serious fling. And Daniel did turn out to be opposite in terms of the jealousy thing, the secretiveness thing.

We had fun together, he was very easy going. Within a year we were engaged and when I finished school we moved in together. Life just kept going at full speed. We were planning a wedding and then got married. Time to start trying for a baby. My plan was all coming together. Or so I thought.

We really didn’t spend that much time, surely not enough time, getting to know each other. It wasn’t long and I was pregnant.

Were there red flags that I ignored? Of course. But hindsight’s twenty-twenty and nobody even knew what a red flag was in those days. He was one of those people who couldn’t hold their alcohol it seemed, or was he just always drinking in excess?

We were young, we enjoyed socializing with his friends, who were mostly bachelors. I had no problems with partying at that stage of my life, up until I had gotten pregnant.

But then I had the baby…